Unexpected
by Miss Peg
Summary: Jane seeks comfort in the most unexpected of places.
1. Chapter 1

**Author Note : This originally started out as something I wrote for another story but it just wouldn't fit. Instead it's the start of its own story.**

 **Disclaimer : The story is mine but the characters aren't. Though occasionally they may do things you might not consider Canon.**

 **Warnings before you begin :**

 **I write wall to wall angst, so if you don't like angst, you probably want to walk away from this story now.**

 **This story has Jane and Maura in it in some form or another, but that does not mean it will be Rizzles. If you're not prepared to read about Jane hooking up with someone else, you probably want to walk away now.**

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Jane fell back onto the mattress, her heartbeat thumping in her ears and her breathing laboured. She closed her eyes and listened to her partner's equally harried breath.

"Wanna go again?" she asked, sliding a hand along Jane's pale white abdomen and up across her bare breasts. She inhaled, a shiver travelled down through her body as the hand slid back down between her legs.

"Wait," Jane said, her rasping voice worse than usual. She held the woman's hand against her thigh. As much as she wanted to recover that quickly, she couldn't. When her heartbeat slowed a little, she rolled onto her side, forcing the woman's hand away, and ran her own fingers along her ankle and on up to the top of her thigh.

"Oh God," the woman said, purring softly as Jane moved her hand across her upper thigh. She replaced her fingers with her tongue and pressed chaste kissed along her skin, up across her abdomen, briefly against the mound of her breast before her lips met the woman's. She slid her fingers back down between her thighs.

Jane closed her eyes and thrust her whole body forwards with each careful action, Maura's face danced across the back of her eyelids. She moaned against her partner's ear. It took every ounce of restraint not to whisper Maura's name. Eventually, she collapsed on top of the woman, their bodies held together, Jane's hand still resting between her soft, brown legs. Exhaustion held her there, gasping for breath. When she opened her eyes, the usual wave of disappointment settled on her chest.

"You tell anyone about this and I'll shoot you," she said, rolling onto her back again.

"You say that every time," Nina said, turning onto her side and placing an arm across Jane's chest.

"Yeah, well, I mean it every time."

Nina stared up at her, her dark brown eyes were full of questions, of curiosity. She ignored her and closed her eyes.

"We've been doing this for months," Nina said, resting her chin against Jane's shoulder.

"So?"

"Eventually you're going to have to decide if this is just a bit of fun, or if there's something more to it."

"There's not." Jane stared at the ceiling, pursing her lips.

"I'm not stupid, Jane. My IQ is borderline genius." She traced circles on Jane's shoulderblade with her fingertip. "You're in love with Maura."

"No," Jane said, her voice absent of tone.

"You're devastated that she's gone. That drunken night out a few month ago, you were trying to forget that she left you."

"Shut up," Jane said, turning over, away from Nina. A lump settled in the back of her throat. She fought against the urge to cry.

"I'm right," she said. "You're doing this because you can't be with her."

"You don't know what you're talking about."

"I watch you. When I look at you, you close your eyes."

Jane slipped away from Nina's touch and out of the bed. "People close their eyes."

"People don't moan someone else's name when they're sleeping," Nina sat up as she spoke.

"I don't."

Standing by the window, Jane separated the drapes wide enough to glance out at the night. She brushed tears from her cheek and gripped the fabric in front of her.

"You do."

Nina placed a hand on Jane's shoulder, making her jump. She turned. Eyes fixed on her. Her small brown fingers cupped Jane's face, holding her steady. Forcing her to look into her eyes. Jane lowered her gaze.

"I'm not saying we can't hang out," Nina said. "I've not felt ready for a relationship since my fiancé died. I'm not looking for commitment, Jane. I just want you to be honest with me."

"You're wrong," she said, tugging at her wrists until Nina lowered her hands and stepped away.

"I guess this was the last time we're going to hang out." She picked up her bra and clasped it back into place.

"Okay." Jane didn't want that. She wanted Maura, but that was impossible. "I think about her. I want to be there in the moment, but I'm not."

"Good," Nina said, pulling her underwear on and walking back towards the bed. "I'm not there either."

"You're not?" Jane sat down. She swallowed down the desire to cry.

"I've had my eye on Debbie, she works beat. I just can't face a relationship right now." Nina laughed and slumped down beside her, stealing a kiss. She ran a finger along Jane's bottom lip. "When you kissed me, I figured what the hell. Might as well have some fun while I get over it."

"Can we stop talking now?" Jane asked, pushing Nina back against the bed. She slipped her hand into the side of Nina underwear and pulled it down.

"Again?"

"You made me think about Maura," she said, pushing her tongue into Nina's mouth.

In the morning, Jane's cell phone pulled her out of her dreams. She fumbled in the darkness, her hand colliding with naked breast before she stretched across Nina's body to her phone.

"Hello?" she said, then opened her eyes wider and sat up straight. "Rizzoli."

The body was across town in a dumpster. Jane watched from the sideline whilst a couple of uniformed officers carried the young woman to the ground. Doctor Pike walked around the body.

"Like I said when she was in the trash, I don't think this was a deliberate act."

"Are you serious?" Jane asked, rolling her eyes. "She has fresh needle marks between her toes. She has a crushed skull. We found two empty syringes with one set of prints on them that do not match the victims."

"On the other side of the alley," Doctor Pike said.

Jane folded her arms. "Are you always this stupid?"

"Detective Korsak," Pike said, holding a hand up as Korsak turned his attention away from the crime scene. "Are you going to let your subordinate speak to me like that or am I going to have to report her?"

"Take a break, Jane," he said, placing a hand on her arm and turning her away.

"Are you serious? Korsak!" Jane said, walking on ahead of him. "He's useless. He doesn't know what the hell he's doing."

"That may be so," said Korsak, stopping in front of her. "But he is the Chief Medical Examiner, whether you agree with him or not, you know how this works. Show him some respect."

"Why should I? He doesn't respect us. He certainly doesn't respect the people he's supposed to look out for." Jane kicked a garbage bag on her way out of the alley. "If he doesn't do his job, we have nothing to go off."

"You've been erratic since Maura left. I'm not going to pretend I know how you feel, but if you don't get yourself together soon you're going to be up in front of the sergeant."

"Can we request another medical examiner come and examine the body?"

"I'll ask that Susie ensure all bases are covered before Doctor Pike reaches his final conclusion," Korsak said. "Now go back to HQ and help Nina look through the CCTV."

"Why can't Frankie do it?"

Korsak shook his head. "I asked you, and as Doctor Pike pointed out, I'm still your superior, now go."

"Yes, Sir," she said, raising two fingers to her forehead and saluting him. Korsak smiled before returning to the alley.

Back at the headquarters, Jane entered the room where Nina was going through the CCTV footage. She glanced at the other desks, through the window at the half empty office, then closed the blinds and turned the lock on the back of the door.

"What are you doing?" Nina asked, standing up.

"Don't talk," Jane said, closing the gap. She slipped a hand into the back of Nina's trousers and smashed her lips against Nina's. She rested her other hand on Nina's covered breast, pressing it beneath her fingers as their tongues danced between their mouths.

"Hold it," Nina said, pushing her backwards. "Whilst I like the idea of doing this here, nobody at work knows I'm bisexual and from all of your threats, I assume you don't want them to know you're...whatever you are. So how about we put the fingers and tongues away and just do some work?"

Jane shook her head and kissed her again. She unbuttoned Nina's pants. She waited for her resistance, she waited for her to tell her not to. Instead, Nina gripped her hand and slid it under the band of her underwear.

As Nina let out a soft moan, Jane covered her mouth with her hand, provoking Nina to thrust her hips harder against Jane's fingers. When the moment was over, Jane pulled her hand away.

"This is never going to happen again," she said, buttoning Nina's pants back up and placing a brief kiss on her lips.

"Don't you want me to return the favour?" Nina shrugged.

"Not here," Jane said, unlocking the door.

Nina grinned. "So it can happen again?"

Jane opened the blinds and reached for the door handle. "Not like this."

"Can it happen like his at home?"

"Look forward to it," Jane said, smirking before walking out of the room.

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 **Author Note : Yes. Jane and Nina.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Author Note : Thank you to everyone who read the last chapter, I am surprised that so many people did given that it's about Jane and Nina. Thanks for the comments, favourites and follows. I think it's going to be an interesting story to write.**

 **Did you know Nina wasn't on the character list? Well, she is now, so hopefully more people will be able to write about her.**

 **Onwards with chapter two...**

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The keys clattered against the kitchen counter. Jane leant over them as tears gathered in her eyes. She played with fire every day in her job, she risked her life chasing criminals, a gun always by her side, and she never knew if a chase would be her last. She was fearless in the face of bullets. Relationships should have been the easy part.

She didn't know what came over her. _Sex at work._ If they'd been caught, she'd have been dragged over the coals. Relationships between co-workers was frowned upon at the best of times. But to do that. In the building. Jane didn't even do frivolous relationships. It was all or nothing. What her and Nina were doing went against everything she thought she knew about herself and relationships.

The sun had already set hours before Jane left work. The case had consumed much of the day and she had to return early the next morning. She stripped off and lay under her covers in the darkness. Closing her eyes, Jane could see Maura's tear-stained face staring back at her. The last image she had before she left. Saying goodbye broke Jane's heart. But not as much as reading the letter that Maura sent just five months ago.

In the early hours, Jane gave up the fight and pushed the bed sheets away. The fall temperatures had dropped but Jane felt like she was in an oven. She knelt on the floor beside her chest of drawers and pulled out piles of underwear and socks. When her fingers hit paper, she felt her lungs smash against the cage of her ribs, stalling any hope of breathing normally. She went back to the safety of her bed and curled up against her pillow. She unfolded the letter like Charlie peeling back the wrapper of his Wonka bar. Maybe if she wished hard enough, the words would be her golden ticket, instead of the nail in her coffin.

The words swam across the page before her tired eyes. Jane narrowed them in the hope of gaining some focus. Her effort was unnecessary. She knew the words by heart. Folding the letter back up, she held it against her chest and closed her eyes.

"Dear Jane," she recited. "The village in Tanzania has no internet access and it'll be another week before an engineer can come out to fix the satellite phones. My father's condition deteriorated suddenly and he died a short while ago. We will bury him as per the traditions of the community he supported for the last forty years. I will remain in Tanzania for the remainder of the year to continue his work, whilst I consider where my future lies. It is likely I will stay indefinitely. All my love, Maura."

The distance hurt more than Jane cared to admit. The lack of warmth in Maura tone hit her where it hurt the most. Losing her father was something Jane could barely comprehend, and she accepted that Maura would need time to grieve. What Jane couldn't see through was the reason for Maura's removal from her life on a permanent basis.

After everything they'd been through. After everything that happened before she left.

The worst thing was she only had herself to blame. She saw all too frequently the things she did that contributed to Maura's decision, and reconciling with that was a battle she could not win.

Nina sought as a welcome distraction, one that she was unwilling to give up. If she was going to self destruct, she had to do it with support. But putting that pressure on someone she barely knew was neither fair nor necessary. Seven months ago Maura walked out of her life, and though she struggled to cope without her, she always knew that eventually she would come home, and her wrongs could be righted. Receiving the letter two months later ended all hope.

She slipped into her joggers, laced up her running shoes and set off down the street from her apartment. The dawn chorus cheered her along the empty streets. Before Maura left, Jane avoided running. She valued what little sleep she could get and nothing was going to stop her from getting it. Even Maura standing on her doorstep in her jogging gear. Without her there, Jane ran most mornings.

"Finally doing what you wanted," she said, her feet banging against the sidewalk in succession.

The route took her past her old neighbourhood; the house she grew up in. Every time she ran that way, she stopped for a moment and remembered. The games of basketball she played in the yard with her brothers. Shovelling snow out of the driveway so that her mom could drive them to the store. Her first kiss with Billy Smithwick by the back door, until her father caught them and dragged him away from the house. It was a place that represented a time before Maura.

When she reached the church her family visited every Sunday for most of her childhood, Jane stopped. She stared up at the intimidatingly large doorway, it felt much bigger when she was three feet high, but it never lost its intimidation. A couple times a year Angela dragged them in for confession, a tradition she didn't keep up.

"Don't even think it," she said, staring up at the sky as she pushed on the door handle. It opened easily, the hinges creaked a little as she slipped inside and pushed the door behind her.

The confessional was off to one side. She knew where it was all too well. Despite only ever visiting occasionally, her mother used it as leverage whenever they did something wrong. Her father threatened to take her there after her kiss with Billy, but Angela talked him out of it. She stepped behind the curtain and sat down. She waited for the priest to step into the other side, but nobody came. He was probably asleep, like most of Boston. Jane rested her head against the back of the small space and closed her eyes. She didn't really need a priest to talk to God.

"So, it's like this, God; I like woman," she said, staring upwards. "I know you don't really think much of that, but I do. I didn't know. I thought I had to be the good Catholic girl and marry a man, have children, give my mother everything she wants. I didn't realise there's something else out there. Some people say you'd hate it, that you'd hate me, but I don't think it's that simple."

She tried to smile. Her mother always told her to smile at God. He didn't want to see her sullen face on Sundays. He wanted to see that she loved him, that she was glad to be in his house.

"I guess I have a lot to confess," she said, placing her hands on her knees. "I'm not married but I have had sex. Lots of times. I did it at work. I know it was a stupid idea, I don't know what you think of that. I guess it doesn't matter. I know it's wrong. It's wrong that I've been using sex to forget about Maura. Why did you take her away from me? Is this the punishment I get for wanting to be with a woman? Love the sinner, hate the sin, that's what they say, right? What if I love a sinner and a sin?"

"Welcome, child," a man's voice travelled across from the other side of the confessional.

Jane froze. She tried to remember the protocol, but her mind had gone blank. Talking to God had allowed her to talk freely, to say the things she wanted without reprisals (that she could see). But having someone directly address her felt harder. Maybe God would judge her. But the priest would judge her more openly. She would have to atone for her sins, say her Hail Marys and pretend that she could move on from what she had done. In truth, she didn't want to. In spite of committing sin in the eyes of the church, she couldn't just turn off her emotions.

She stood up and pushed the curtain to one side. The priest's voice piped up again. Jane hovered at the second curtain, he knew she was there and she knew that he knew she was there. But if she spoke he might recognise her. Her mother still visited every Sunday, without fail. She couldn't risk her finding out that she'd been. The amount of questions she'd be asked would drown her. She crossed her chest and ran from the church.

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 **Author Note : Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Comments appreciated, whether they're sent via FFnet, or blown onto the wind, haha.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Author note** **: This story will probably not be updated very frequently, we'll see. I'll try my best. I'm away for a month from Saturday so I'll make it harder! I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

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"Happy New Year, Rizzoli," Nina said, rolling closer to Jane. She trailed a finger from her belly button up to her breast and around the nipple. Jane scrunched her weary eyes together and opened them.

"Already?" she asked, stifling a yawn. "I closed my eyes five minutes ago."

"Two hours and sixteen minutes ago." Nina raised an eyebrow. Last New Year's Eve, Jane spent with Maura. They went to a swanky bar in the city for which Maura had been given two VIP tickets. The venue fell short on atmosphere but made up for it with expensive beer that she didn't have to pay for.

Lying in Nina's bed in a tiny, rundown apartment failed in comparison. Anything would have failed in comparison. Except for lying in Maura's bed in a tiny, rundown apartment. Something that would never happen, even if Maura did return.  
"I'm sorry you're spending a crappy new year with me," Jane said, rolling onto her front. She crossed her arms in front of her and turned her head to the side. "Not exactly the life and soul of the party."

"The last time I wished someone other than family and colleagues a Happy New Year was two days before my fiancé died. It's hardly my favourite holiday."

"Then I'm even more sorry that you chose me as the first other person."

"Hardly," Nina laughed. "You're just a colleague."

"A colleague who's seen you naked." Jane sat up and ran a hand along Nina's arms. "Who's kissed every inch of your body." Her lips touched her shoulder blade, her breast, her abdomen. "Who's made you scream so loud your neighbours had to bang on the wall. Definitely just a colleague."

"What would you call yourself?" Nina asked.

"What is it the cool kids say?" Jane shrugged. "Friends with benefits?"

"How about, an experiment?"

"You want to be known as my experiment?" Jane raised an eyebrow, her eyes trained on Nina's. The concept of experimentation didn't sit well with her. What they were doing had very few names, none of which was very flattering. What Jane did know was that she didn't experiment with other people's feelings.

"No. But that's what this is, isn't it? You're trying it on for size before you do it properly, if she comes back."

Jane gritted her teeth. Neither of them had to say her name. They both knew who Nina was referring to. Jane sat up and dropped her long legs down the side of the bed.

Nina shifted her position. "Maura's probably never coming home."

"I didn't say anything about Maura," Jane said, clenching her hands.

"You don't have to." Jane pulled the bed sheets up around her body as she processed Nina's words. For the first time since their first time she felt self-conscious. Nina cleared her throat and continued to speak. "She's here. She's always here."

"So is your fiancé," she said, realising her mistake before it had fully slipped out of her mouth. She lowered her head and ignored Nina's movement behind her.

"You're going to compare my six year relationship that ended prematurely because of his death with your, whatever it is, with Maura."

When Jane turned around, Nina stood in her underwear, pulling a sweater over her head and down around her body.

Jane's shoulders sunk. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean it to sound that way."

"You're right, though." Nina's tone was heavy, laced with a bitter sadness. Jane stared up at her, watching the emotions dance across her face. "He's always with me."

"Always?" Jane dropped the sheet and crawled across the bed to the other side. She slipped her legs over the edge and took one of Nina's hands. She tugged it away again.

"Always." She placed one leg into her jeans, then the other.

"What about Debbie? I heard she got demoted to traffic cop."

"Meh, went off her." Jane stood beside her, her nakedness the last thing on her mind. She slipped an arm around Nina's back and pulled her close. "She's not exactly what you'd call intelligent. I like smart girls."

"What are you doing with me then?" Jane asked, slipping each hand into the back pockets of Nina's jeans and closing the gap.

Nina's eyes softened. "I heard you got into BCU but couldn't afford to go."

Jane froze. She slipped her hands out of Nina's pockets. An uncomfortable feeling settled over her. "Where did you hear that?"

"Err, Maura."

"I need to go," Jane said, reaching down to pick her panties up off the floor and slide them up her legs. She pulled her pants around her hips and slipped a t-shirt down over her chest. She grabbed the door handle when Nina called her back.

"You forgot your bra," Nina said, handing it over. Jane stuffed it into her pocket and opened the door.

Out on the street, Jane marched away from Nina's apartment. She silently wished her cell phone would ring. If someone had been murdered then she would have something to keep her mind occupied. But if her cell phone rang than Nina's probably would too. She couldn't blame her for accumulating knowledge before Maura left. The act wasn't malicious. Maura probably said more than she anticipated whilst distracted. What bothered her was that regardless of how hard she tried, Maura would not go away. She no longer lived in the country, yet she remained permanently attached to everything Jane did.

 _"Jane, I need to tell you something." Maura's eyes creased at the corners, her brow furrowed._

 _Jane's heart thrummed against her chest, fighting for freedom. "Is everything alright?"_

 _"Everything's fine. It's not like that. I hope this can be a good thing, but, I really don't know. I've tried to make sense of it. To understand how you might feel. This connection, I just don't know if you feel it too. I thought we were friends."_

 _"We are friends," Jane said, cutting Maura short._

 _"I'm in love with you," Maura said, her gaze lingering on the bottle of beer in Jane's hands._

 _"What did you just say?"_

 _Maura lifted her head and refocused her eyes until Jane couldn't help but stare into them. "I have fallen in love with you."_

"You ruined everything," she muttered, walking straight into BPD headquarters. If there were no murders then she would relieve the detective on duty. Anything to distract her from her own mind.

By three in the morning a call came in. Jane phoned Korsak and jumped in her car. The nightclub was still full of people when they arrived. Partygoers looked on, petrified by the woman's body lay in the middle of the dance floor, the balcony above taped off by a uniformed officer.

"What have we got?" Jane asked another uniformed colleague stood beside the body.

"She's called Larissa Paris," the woman said. "Age twenty-nine, from Portland, Oregon. She was here with a couple of girlfriends. Neither of them saw what happened. She was last seen outside the ladies restroom arguing with a man. Nobody's seen him since."

Jane rubbed her temples. The early hour and lack of sleep finally caught up with her. "You called us out here when it was probably an accident?"

"We called you out because it's a suspicious death."

"Rein it in, Rizzoli," Korsak said, standing behind her. "She's just doing her job, now go and do yours."


	4. Chapter 4

**Author Note : Can I please clarify that this fic is a Nina/Jane fic and it is clearly stated as such. Some people seem to be surprised by it, but I don't think I could have made it that much clearer.**

 **I'm off to the USA today, so this may be my last update for a little while - it depends how much writing I find time to do when I'm out there. I have so many other plans, so writing will be on the back burner for a while. I hope you all have a great three weeks.**

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On the other side of the door, Nina stood, her face flushed and her eyes puffed out. Jane's shoulders sunk. They hadn't seen each other since the night before last. Nina had called in sick when requested for the case at New Years and didn't return that morning. Jane had barely arrived home from work. New evidence and hundreds of witnesses made the case more complex than anticipated. Her mind had been pulled away from everything else she had to think about.

Until Nina turned up looking like she'd been run over by a tractor.

They stared at each other like they were in a staring contest, waiting for the moment when one of them gave in. Jane opened her mouth to speak when Nina pressed her hands against Jane's hips and enveloped her mouth in her own. Jane took a step backwards into the apartment. Nina pushed the door closed with her foot, her hands already sliding under the fabric of Jane's blouse. She reached out and pushed them away, pulling out of the passionate embrace. Nina stepped forwards again, capturing Jane's lips. She allowed her mouth to follow the lead briefly.

When Jane stepped backwards again, Nina stood frozen in front of her. Her face crumbled and her eyes filled with tears.

"I'm not going to take advantage of you when you're obviously upset," Jane said, reaching out for Nina's hand. She held it between her own.

"I didn't know where else to go," she said, wiping at tears that only continued to fall. "I don't have any family here, I can't spend today alone."

Jane tilted her head to one side. Everything they'd been through together recently had been frivolous and care free. Emotions, of any kind, had been kept at a distance. Seeing Nina so upset hit Jane right where it hurt the most. She didn't want to care about what they were doing. But she couldn't not. She closed the gap, wrapping her arms around Nina's shoulders. Sex or not, Nina was her friend.

"I've never been very good at the emotional thing," Jane said a few minutes later, handing Nina a mug of coffee and sitting on the couch beside her. "But if you need someone to talk to, I'm not a bad listener."

"I do this every year," Nina said, sipping the hot coffee. The tears had ceased, but her eyes were still puffy. "I don't think I'll ever get over what happened to my fiancé."

"Is that why you joined homicide?"

"I guess so." She wrapped both hands around the mug. "I wanted to make a difference."

"Don't we all," said Jane. She reached a hand out to Nina's thigh and gave it a squeeze. "I'm sorry for making the ridiculous jokes about shooting you, they weren't funny. Not when you've been through what you went through with your fiancé. You know I didn't mean it, don't you?"

Nina nodded and reached for Jane's hand. She wrapped her hands around Jane's and stared at their fingers. "You see this?" Jane shook her head. Nina held their hands up in front of her face. White skin and black skin tangled up together. "We're different. But that's okay. We don't care, we don't see the difference, we see what makes us ourselves. We don't define each other by our gender, or our race, or our sexual orientation."

"I'm not following," Jane said. "So, I'm white, you're black, you're bisexual, I'm, whatever I am, what does any of it matter?"

"What we have to face at work, with the old school detectives." Nina sighed. "I've seen the way some of them treat younger women, especially younger female cops; the comments, the glares, the idea that being female makes them any less of a good cop. Why would either of us want to tell them we're different?"

"You mean, that we like to have sex with women?"

"We both know what would happen if people found out. The homophobia, the stares, I'm not ready for that, and I don't think you are either. Maybe the joke wasn't funny, maybe it was misplaced. But I understand why you said it."

Jane opened her mouth to respond when her cellphone sang out across the room, buzzing against the kitchen counter. She stood, stepped across the room, and retrieved it before it fell off the edge.

"Rizzoli."

The bullpen was a hive of activity when Jane walked in. Korsak sat behind his desk looking quizzically at his computer. Frankie walked in behind her.

"What's going on?" Jane asked.

"You're both needed in interview room one," he said, barely glancing up.

Frankie rested his hands on his hips. "Have we got a suspect?"

"Quit yapping," Korsak said, returning his full attention to the computer.

Jane turned to walk out of the room and marched across the corridor to the interview room. She could feel Frankie struggling to keep up. If she was going to be pulled away from a brief moment of personal time whilst uniform went through the witnesses, there had to be a good reason for it.

She reached out for the door handle without looking through the glass door. On the other side she expected a suspect, but what she found made her step backwards, colliding with Frankie. Maura was sitting at the table.

"Move out of my way," Jane snapped.

Frankie pushed past her and entered the room, scooping Maura up into his arms. Jane hovered by the doorway, her heart drumming so loud she wondered if anyone else could hear it.

"It's great to see you," Frankie said. "I'm so sorry about your father."

"It's good to see you, too," said Maura, pulling out of the embrace. "Thank you."

The sadness in Maura's eyes broke Jane's heart. She wanted to repeat Frankie's message of condolence, she wanted to reach out and hold Maura like a best friend should. She willed her body to react the way it needed to, yet her feet and mouth wouldn't move.

"Jane," Maura said, her smile not quite reaching her eyes; a crease settled between them. A lump formed in the back of Jane's throat. The last thing she wanted was to cry in front of her.

"I'd best get back," Frankie said, noticing the tension that settled over the room.

He slipped past Jane, his eyes hovering on her face, before he pulled the door closed behind him. She stared at Maura, her brown eyes trained on Maura's hazel ones. She swallowed, pushing down the need to let go of everything she felt.

"I can't," Jane said, shaking her head. She reached for the handle of the door and hesitated, waiting momentarily for Maura to stop her from walking out of the room. She desperately wanted her to stop her from leaving. When she didn't respond, Jane pulled on the handle and rushed out of the room.


	5. Chapter 5

**Author Note** **: So, I wrote this probably a month ago, but apparently I forgot about it! I was very busy with my trip. I'm now home and killing time before my job starts up again. Here's more of the Nina/Jane saga, for those of you who are still with me.**

* * *

"Jane," Maura said, rushing out of the room after her.

Jane hesitated. All she wanted since Maura left was for her to come home. Now she had, she felt sick and she didn't know why. She continued her journey towards the elevator.

"Wait a moment, please."

The sorrow in Maura's voice made it all the harder. When the elevator doors appeared, closing at the very last moment before Jane reached them, she stopped. Her heart raced inside her chest. She waited for Maura to say her name again. Then turned. She bit back a retort. Maura hadn't said anything to demand it, but she felt anger rising up.

"I'm sorry about your father," she said, turning her attention to two uniformed officers having a conversation further down the corridor.

"I don't want our friendship to end this way," Maura said. She stared at Jane until she diverted her attention back to Maura's hazel eyes. A demanding sadness that overwhelmed her. She wanted to get angry, she wanted to storm away without saying a word, but she couldn't leave Maura there looking so devastated.

"Maura," Jane said, choking back tears.

"Tell me how I can make this better."

"You can't," Jane said, shaking her head. She backed into the wall, resting against it for support as she placed her hands on her knees. "You can't change what's happened."

"Are you angry at me?

She gritted her teeth. Admitting her anger would change everything. Maura would expect her forgiveness, that they would recover what had been lost. But Maura didn't just leave. She left after a huge chasm had opened up, and it continued to engulf them months later.

"Yes," Jane said, the word sneaking out before she could stop it. She glanced down at the floor, then lifted her gaze back to Maura's. She didn't want to confront her feelings, would rather do three rounds with Mohammed Ali, but she owed it to herself to be honest. "I'm furious, Maura."

"You know I had to go."

"To go, yes," Jane said. She clenched her fists, fighting the desire to punch the wall behind her. She turned, placing both palms against the plaster and focused on each difficult breath.

"Jane, please," Maura said, resting her hand on Jane's shoulder. She shrugged it away.

She turned and leaned against the wall. "You told me you weren't coming back in a letter."

"That is what this is about?"

"No, Maura," Jane said. "This is about so much more. But we have been friends for a long time. I understood why you had to go so quickly, I accepted that you may be gone for a while, and I wouldn't be able to contact you. To tell me you weren't coming back in a letter, I, I..."

"You, what, Jane?"

"I told you I love you at the airport and all you could say was 'I'll see you soon'. I don't know if you just didn't get that I was telling you I want to be with you too, or if you were too distracted by everything going on in your life. But I was telling you I would be there, Maura, the second you needed me to be. I waited for you. I waited for months, and then I got that letter. Do you know how it made me feel?"

"I, I'm sorry." Maura glanced away.

"Sorry," Jane repeated, shifting her weight from one foot the other. "It's just a word. It's a fucking useless word. I know why you went, I know you didn't know, but did I really mean that little to you? To tell me in a letter."

"I just, I couldn't, Jane," Maura stumbled over her words, her eyes fixed on Jane's.

She felt her voice crack as she spoke. "I waited for you, and you didn't come back."

The elevator doors opened. The space between them grew smaller. Maura pushed her lightly, forcing her to step sideways into the empty metal box, not stopping until Jane hit the back wall. Maura placed her hand against the wall behind Jane, imprisoning her against it. When the doors closed, she leaned forwards, against her tiptoes, and placed a chaste kiss on Jane's lips. Jane closed her eyes, allowing the moment to blow over, waiting for Maura to pull away. When the moment didn't arrive, Jane pushed her backwards.

"No," Jane said, slipping out from against the wall and pressing the button for the first floor. "It's too late. I've moved on, and I really need to go home."

"Moved on?" Maura's face fell, her hands dropped limp by her sides. The elevator began its descent.

"Yes," Jane whispered, paying particular attention to Maura's open toed, black, slim heeled shoes. Shoes she didn't recall having seen before.

"But," Maura said, her voice trailing off into the abyss.

"No, Maura," Jane said, as the elevator doors opened on the first floor. She pressed the button for the labs and stepped out, waiting for the doors to begin closing as she said her final words. "I can't do this, I can't see you. I've found someone else. It's too late."

Jane threw her keys down on the coffee table and slammed her apartment door. Eventually she would have to go back to the police station and carry on working on the case, but if Maura was going to show up again, she'd sooner run the Boston Marathon six times over whilst intoxicated. She took a glass from the kitchen sink, rinsed it off and filled it with fresh water. She sunk it down her throat, not stopping until her stomach felt bloated. When she banged the glass down on the counter, Nina appeared behind her.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing," Jane said, wiping excess water from her chin.

"Could have fooled me."

"Its nothing," Jane said, marching past her and into the bedroom. She stripped off her t-shirt and fumbled with the zipper on her pants.

She froze when Nina slipped an arm around her waist, turned into her embrace. Nina reached up and pressed her lips to Jane's. She responded instantly, allowing the movement of their mouths to distract her from her thoughts. Her breath caught in her throat and Nina pulled away.

"Tell me what's happened."

"You're not my girlfriend," Jane said, regretting the words the moment she said them. They were not in a relationship. They'd both made that clear from the offset. So why did it hurt Jane to state that fact?

"I'm your friend," Nina said, lifting a hand to Jane's bare shoulder.

She gritted her teeth and lowered her gaze. "Maura's back."

"Oh." Nina sounded as disappointed as Jane felt. Something lingered between them that Jane couldn't quite put her finger on. When had things become so complicated?

"She waltzes back in expecting me to see her, to talk to her," Jane said, sitting down on the edge of the bed.

"Did you?" Jane frowned. "Talk to her."

"A little. She knows how I feel."

Nina rested on the mattress beside her. "Do you think you'll work it out?"

The question was harmless but it tugged at Jane's emotions. She turned to face Nina, her eyes fixed on her dark orbs. She closed the gap, gently pressing her mouth against Nina's supple lips. When she pulled back, their eyes returned to each other. The magnetic pull of attraction lingered.

"What is this?" Jane asked, her voice croaked, her heart banged against her ribcage like a drum set.

"I don't know," Nina said, barely audibly.

"I told her I was with someone else."

"Oh."

"I didn't tell her who."

"Good."

Jane cleared her throat and stood up, slipping her pants down her thighs and kicking them off onto the floor.

"I'm having a shower," she said, trailing her eyes down from Nina's eyes, to her mouth, to between her breasts.

She smiled back and unbuttoned her shirt, following Jane into the bathroom, the last of their clothes in their wake.

* * *

 **Author Note : Yes, it's still a Nina/Jane story.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Author Note** **: I have made it more than clear that this story is a Nina/Jane story and NOT Jane/Maura. I am not going to apologise for writing something a little different, for taking a chance, and challenging myself (and the fandom) with a pairing that nobody expects. I'm certainly not going to leave the fandom over writing something that some people do not like. I'm a writer. I write what I want to write, what my plot bunnies beg me to write, and occasionally, what readers like yourselves ask me to write…and sometimes I write what most readers really don't want to read. If I wrote solely for popularity, I would write Jane/Maura fluff all the time, but that's not why I write, so you will continue to get all sorts of different stories from me.**

* * *

The following days were filled with work. Jane put everything she had into the case, staying on til after everyone else had gone home. Maura didn't return to the police station, at least she didn't return to homicide.

"You going home?" Nina asked, slipping her bag over her shoulder and hovering by Jane's desk.

"We're no closer to cracking the case," she said, barely looking up.

"You'll be no closer by working for a few more hours," Nina said.

"We've got to get a breakthrough soon, why not tonight?"

Nina leaned against the edge of the desk, her eyes searching the room. Satisfied, she slipped her hand over Jane's.

"Don't do this," she said, squeezing Jane's hand. "Don't retreat back into work, just because Maura's back."

"I'm not," she said. She glanced back up, when her eyes reached Nina's, her stomach twisted up. She swallowed a lump settling in the back of her throat. "I don't know if I can do this anymore."

"Come with me," Nina said, tugging at her hand until Jane stood and followed her along the corridor. She glanced at a couple of doors, before pushing down on the handle for the janitor's closet.

"What?" Jane asked, as Nina closed the door behind them.

"Something's changed between us."

"Yeah," Jane said. "We have sex, a _lot_ of sex."

"No." Nina shook her head. "After the sex. I'm not just seeing things, because I know you felt it last week. When you asked what this is."

She closed her eyes. Facing everything that went through her mind was harder than facing Maura. She'd spent so long waiting for her, hoping that maybe one day she would come home. Now she had, as painful as it was to admit, she didn't know if she wanted her anymore.

"So," Nina said, repeating Jane's question. "What is this?"

"Sex," Jane said, opening her eyes. Nina raised her eyebrows. "This was just supposed to be temporary."

"But, it's not." Nina slipped her hand across the gap between them and wrapped her fingers around Jane's. "It's more. It became more."

Jane lowered her head. "When Maura told me she loved me, I choked," Jane said. Nina's brow creased. Talking about Maura was probably not what she was expecting. "I didn't know if I could do it. I knew I loved her too, but it's a massive thing. Admitting to having feelings for someone you're so close to."

"Especially when everyone thinks you're as straight as a ruler."

"Exactly. It took me a while to catch up. But when I did, I was so desperate to be with her that I wasn't prepared for what happened. After the letter arrived, I thought I'd never be happy again."

"This is a great story," Nina smiled. "But can you get to the point?"

"I didn't want to move on. As much as I hated waiting for her, hoping that she'd be back, I thought I wanted to wait. Being with you made me realise that maybe I don't want to wait anymore."

"Even though she's back?"

"Even though she's back." Jane paused. "It's been months. Several painful months. I had to deal with the fact that we weren't going to be anything. That I'd lost her forever. Seeing her made me realise that I have dealt with it. I've put it to bed. I can't go back there."

"So, what does that mean?"

"It means I want you to be my girlfriend, Nina. I want to tell people that we're together, I want to tell my family, I want to face the homophobic old school detectives at work. I want to be with you."

A silence settled between them. Jane took a long, deep breath in and hesitated. Nina's eyes fell to their hands.

"You're not talking, why aren't you saying anything?" Jane asked.

"I'm processing," Nina said, lifting her head.

"And?"

"And...my counter offer is we don't tell anyone yet; you can tell your family you're in a relationship, if you wish, but I don't want anyone to know it's me. Frankie works with us. It's too much of a blurred line."

"But," Jane said, before Nina cut her off.

"If you want to come out to BPD, then that's your thing, Jane. I'm not ready for everyone to know about me yet."

"Okay, I can live with that."

"Good," Nina said, leaning in and brushing her lips against Jane's. "Now, will you come and have dinner with me or do I have to go out alone?"

"That depends," Jane said, wrapping her arms around Nina's back. "What are we eating?"

Nina raised her eyebrows and smirked. "How about we grab some burgers from the Dirty Robber and go back to your place?"

A couple of hours later, the burgers lay uneaten in their paper wrapping on the kitchen counter. Jane rolled over on her bed and pulled Nina into her arms. She ran her fingers along her skin and placed soft kisses along her collarbone. She nibbled playfully, barely conscious of the marks she was creating on Nina's skin.

"Do you want a pickle with that?" Nina asked, pushing Jane away.

"Too much?"

"No," Nina said, capturing her mouth with her curved lips. "But I am getting hungry."

Jane pulled herself out of Nina's embrace, wandered into the kitchen and picked up the burgers from the counter. She turned to head back to the bedroom when she heard a knock on the door. She dropped the burgers back on the counter and took an old towel from her laundry basket. Wrapping it around her body, Jane opened the door.

"Maura."

"Good evening, Jane." Maura stood on the other side of the door in a smart blue dress and killer heels, her hair pulled up on top of her head. The possibility that she was there to seduce Jane did not escape her. She wrapped her arms tighter around her body.

"Wh, what are you doing here?" she asked, glancing back into the apartment. "Now's not a good time."

"I won't be long."

"Good," Jane said. "My girlfriend is waiting for me."

"Your… _girl_ …friend," Maura's voice trailed off.

Jane sighed. She clung to the door, keeping Maura on the other side of the threshold. "Yes, Maura."

"Oh."

"What is it you wanted?" Jane asked, pulling the towel up a little higher around her chest, her impatience obvious.

"I wanted to apologise. For the letter. But, I…" Maura's voice trailed off again, her eyes travelled into the apartment behind Jane.

"But what?"

"But, I, I just always assumed that…like how I feel about you…that I was, an exception."

"An exception?"

"You're the only woman I've ever fallen in love with," Maura said.

Jane scoffed. "So, you're pissed that I think I'm gay?"

Maura shook her head and stared at the floor. Her eyes meeting Jane's as she spoke. "No, I'm upset because I thought I was special."

"You were." Jane closed her eyes. Now really wasn't a good time. "You _are_. Maura. You have been an important person to me for so long. But after everything that's happened...I had to get over you."

"So, you don't love me anymore." The sadness in her voice hit Jane where it hurt.

She focused all of her attention on Maura. "I...I don't think you want me to answer that."

"I do. If I deserve anything, it's your honesty."

"Yes. I still love you." Jane ran a hand through her hair. "But it's the way you love your first. It's the way you will always love someone who was a massive part of your life. Am I still in love with you? I don't know. All I know is losing you was the hardest thing I've had to do since Casey and the baby. I can't go back. I'm sorry."

"I understand." Maura's lips pressed together tightly. Her eyes glistened. Jane felt her heart ache. Whilst everything she said was true, seeing the pained look on Maura's face was something she hadn't prepared herself for. "I don't like it, but I understand."

"What is taking you so long?" Nina shouted from inside the apartment. Jane took a step back and turned at the sound of her voice, the door swung open further.

"Is that…?" Maura asked, her voice disappearing as she stepped into the space of the open door. Nina's eyes bugged as Maura stared back at her, she wrapped her arms tightly around her naked breasts and sprinted into the bedroom.

"Yes," Jane whispered, forcing Maura back into the hallway. "Please, don't say anything to anyone. We're not ready."

The tears in Maura's eyes grew heavier, her cheeks flushed. She gave a curt nod. Jane felt the anger and frustration emanate across the space between them. The distance grew further.

She shrugged. "I'm sorry. You were going to find out eventually."

"I have to go," Maura said, her voice small and vulnerable. She turned and walked back down the hallway and disappeared around a corner. Jane's shoulders sunk. The last thing she wanted to do was hurt her.

After a moment Jane pushed the door closed. She picked up the burgers and carried them into the bedroom. If she was going to be shouted at by Nina, she at least wanted a burger to soften the blow.

* * *

 **Author Note** **: Yes. I _did_ just make that happen. No, this really ISN'T going to be a Jane/Maura fic.**


	7. Chapter 7

**Author Note : Thank you to everyone who has commented, it's always nice to know when people are reading my story - and it's lovely to hear from those who are enjoying it.**

* * *

"Thank you for coming," Jane said, wrapping her hands around a cup of coffee in front of her.

"I nearly didn't." Maura sat back in her seat, the Boston Police Department cafe buzzed around them. "But I think we have a lot to discuss. How is Nina?"

"Pissed."

"I suppose that's understandable," Maura said. "I'm not sure I'd be happy if mine and Nina's positions were reversed."

"I didn't mean for you to find out that way," Jane said, reaching out and placing a hand on Maura's. She felt Maura tense under her touch and pulled away. Long before things became complicated she had treated Maura that same way, even as friends. Adjusting would take time. Even with the months apart.

"I know."

"I wanted to tell you, I wanted to tell everyone. But she's scared of how people will react, at work."

"How long have you been together?" Maura asked, a smile forged across her face.

The phony happiness bothered Jane more than Maura knowing that they were never going to be together. She didn't want to lose her completely. As selfish as that made her, she couldn't bear the thought of living in the same city and not having her as a friend.

"Officially, less than a day."

Maura frowned, her voice wavering. "And unofficially?"

"Months."

"How many?"

Jane gritted her teeth and pushed the coffee cup between her hands a couple of times. She stared into Maura's eyes. All she could see was the hurt she'd caused. The hurt she couldn't fix by asking Maura to be her friend again. Then the hurt she felt over the last few months flooded her. The nights she'd woken up to an empty bed, the days she'd been so distracted by her sadness that she made mistakes on cases. The tenderness that Nina provided when she'd needed it the most. In many ways it had always been more than just sex, but it took her life to be upended once more for her to realise that.

"Would it really help you to know how long we've been together, Maura?"

"I guess not," she whispered, turning her attention to the line of people waiting for drinks.

"Look, I called you because..." Jane's voice trailed off as her cell phone started ringing. A moment later Maura's follow suit and Jane was filled with a sense of nostalgia. "Rizzoli."

"Isles," Maura said in turn.

Jane stood up as she finished her call. She picked up her coffee cup and stepped out from behind the table.

"I've gotta go, there's been some issues with a case," she said, holding her phone up like she needed to explain

"I'll come with you," Maura said. "I guess the governor heard I was in town. They want me to help out."

"Oh."

"If it's a problem, I can call them back," Maura said, her eyes filled with a sense of hope that Jane couldn't tear down.

She waved a hand in front of her. "It's fine. Let's go."

They stood by the elevator, waiting for it to arrive. Jane tapped her foot on the ground, impatiently staring as the number went up instead of down. She glanced across to Maura, then back up at the number which didn't change. The atmosphere was strained.

"I'm gonna walk," she said, heading for the stairs. She opened the door to the stairwell before realising Maura was following.

"I could use the exercise," Maura said, causing Jane to scoff.

"Look," Jane said, the situation was becoming laughable. She walked up the stairs beside Maura. "You haven't told anyone about me and Nina, have you?"

Maura cleared her throat, her voice terse. "No. I said I wouldn't."

"You didn't, exactly," Jane said, reliving the previous night's conversation with Nina in her head.

 _"_ _If you don't do something about Maura," she said, pacing back and forwards, her bare breasts bouncing as she moved._

 _"_ _Would you just sit down," Jane said, smirking. "You're turning me on."_

 _Nina glared. "Now is not the time, Jane. Maura knows."_

 _"_ _She said she wouldn't tell anyone."_

 _"_ _Are you sure?"_

 _Jane shrugged. "She nodded."_

 _"_ _You need to make her stay quiet."_

 _"_ _What do you want me to do, kidnap her?" Jane rolled her eyes, a smirk sneaking onto her lips._

 _"_ _Just stop." Nina sat down beside her and pulled the bed sheet around her shoulders. "I told you I'm not ready for this."_

 _"_ _I'll sort it," Jane said. "I promise. She won't say anything."_

"Do you think I would do that to you?" Maura asked, shaking her head as they turned the corner onto the next flight of stairs. "I'm not vindictive, Jane. I wouldn't purposefully hurt you like that. Or Nina."

"But you could," Jane said. "If you wanted to."

"Does my word count for anything?"

"Actually, no, Maura," Jane said, reaching for the door handle and pulling it open. "I thought you were going to come home and you told me you weren't in a letter. That's the kind of thing that loses my trust."

Maura sighed. "I didn't do that to hurt you."

"I didn't sleep with Nina to hurt _you_."

"No, you didn't," Maura said. "But you're hounding me now like I wouldn't respect your wishes."

Jane stopped. She shook her head and gritted her teeth. "I just need you to tell me that you will not tell anyone about us."

"No, Jane," Maura said, her voice level as she spoke. The elevator beeped beside them. "I won't tell anyone that you and Nina are in a relationship."

The words lingered in the air. Maura clasped a hand over her lips as Jane turned her head to the elevator doors, wide open. Inside a number of uniformed officers stood beside Korsak, Frankie, and Nina.

"I'm sorry," Maura whispered, her voice dissipated into the silence.

"You and Nina are what?" Frankie asked, stepping out, his mouth wide open as his eyes travelled between his sister and colleague. Korsak stood silently beside him, a crease between his brows.

"Nina," Jane said, her voice small and pointless. She stared into her eyes, begging her to forgive what had just happened, but a look of shame and disappointment lingered on the surface. She tried to speak again but no words came. When Nina shook her head, Jane knew that it had been a mistake having the conversation with Maura somewhere so public. When she walked away, Jane felt her heart break.

"I'm so sorry," Maura repeated, tears glistening in her eyes, before she ran off in the direction of the restroom.

Frankie disappeared into the squad room, shaking his head. The elevator load of uniformed officers had disappeared in various directions. Even if Jane wanted to contain the mess that had exploded in the police department, she couldn't. Korsak stood, a look of sympathy and confusion in his eyes.

"I," she tried to speak, but no words came.

"We have a case to solve," Korsak said, sighing and walking towards the squad room. Jane felt a small tug of her lips, and followed him. At least someone was treating it like business as usual.


	8. Chapter 8

With a heavy sigh Jane closed the case file and dropped it on her desk. She couldn't focus anyway; she was too busy worrying over Nina's reaction to Maura's accidental revelation. She glanced across at the BRIC, the doors still closed as they had been all afternoon. Normal practice dictated they kept them open, but nobody dared disturb Nina at work. When the door finally opened, Jane jumped from her seat and watched Nina march past her, her purse over her shoulder, as she headed for the elevator. She opened her mouth to speak but no words came out. Instead, she followed her into the corridor, stopped by the sight of Nina entering the elevator which Maura already occupied.

"Doctor Isles," Nina said, her voice flat.

Maura nodded her head curtly.

Jane stood frozen on the spot as the doors closed in front of her. Several pairs of eyes were watching her. A senior uniformed officer glared. A young detective licked his lips. She felt sick. Her shoulders dropped and she stared at the metal doors, silently begging for the ground the swallow her whole. She didn't want to have to deal with it, any of it, but she couldn't stop the pain that coursed through her body at the thought of losing Nina. Jane sprang for the stairs.

The elevator doors had already opened when Jane reached the parking garage. Maura stood facing Nina who stared back at her, her eyes daggered.

"You just had to do it, didn't you," Nina shouted. "You couldn't keep your mouth shut."

"I'm sorry," Maura shouted, her voice weak and laced with tears.

"You had to come back and fuck it all up again." Nina's arms fell limp at her sides. "She was doing fine without you. She was okay. Now you've fucked everything up for both of us."

The clenching of Nina's fist at her side pushed Jane into action. She rushed forwards, grasping hold of Nina, holding her still before she could do something she would regret. She fought against her, pushing her away.

"Stop, just stop," Jane shouted, standing her ground between them.

"I'm so sorry," Maura said, devastation evident in her voice.

"I know," Jane said, forging a small smile. Her desire to comfort Maura was only beaten by her need to fix things with her girlfriend. "Maybe you should go home. I'll call you later."

Maura nodded and walked away. She ran her hands through her hair, rearranging it as she took the short walk to her car. Before she could drive away, Jane turned her attention to Nina, slumped against the wall. She took in a long, deep breath and stalked across the parking garage, and dropped down beside her.

"She didn't mean to do it."

"Now you're defending her," Nina said, scoffing.

"No," Jane said. "You can't play that card. Maura didn't do anything intentional. She doesn't have an intentional bone in her body. I'm not saying she didn't do something wrong."

With a shake of the head, Nina looked into Jane's eyes for the first time. A glistening of tears covered them. Jane reached out to her hand and pulled into her grasp. She stared back, hoping that they could see past the difficult day.

"Maura didn't mean to hurt me," Nina said, yanking her hand away, her teeth gritted. "But _you_ allowed her to talk about our relationship in BPD."

"I know," Jane said, her heart drumming so hard she could feel it in her ears. A sense of foreboding settle uncomfortably between them. "I shouldn't have brought it up. I just wanted to make sure she wouldn't tell anyone."

"And instead everyone found out."

"I didn't mean for this to happen," Jane said, her tears filling her eyes and her hands beginning to shake of their own accord.

Nina shrugged. "Was this your way of making sure I wouldn't be able to say no to you coming out?"

"No."

"Maybe you thought if you forced it on me then everything would be forgiven?"

"No, Nina."

She reached for her hand again, but Nina pulled it back.

"Don't."

"Please," Jane begged, her voice strained.

"I've been here before, Jane," Nina said, her voice even and controlled. Any hint of tears had gone. "I've been outed before and I hated it. You might be okay with it, but I'm not. I never have been."

"With being outed?"

"With being _me_."

"I," Jane began, but her voice trailed off.

"I don't talk about it, ever. I don't feel okay with it. I don't like people knowing because I don't want them to see it as a defining feature. I'm me, Jane. I'm just me and I don't want to have to explain that. I don't want to have to justify who I am because someone else thinks that my being bisexual means something. It doesn't. It never has done."

"I'm sorry," Jane said, reaching a hand out to Nina's and holding it tightly.

She stared down at their hands. "If people could know without anyone ever having to talk about it, I'd be okay with that. I don't want people looking, or talking, or thinking they can make comments on my relationship with you."

"If only."

Nina cleared her throat and stood up, untangling her fingers from Jane's. "I have to go."

"I'll come with you," Jane said, standing up beside her. "We could get some dinner."

"I don't think so," Nina said, shrugging her shoulders and walking away.

Jane watched her go, her heart broken into pieces inside of her chest. She rested a hand against it, desperate to fix the ache settled there. She stared at Nina, her leg shaking.

"What does this mean for us?" she asked.

Without even turning back, Nina spoke. "I don't know."

A car door slamming shut pulled Jane out of her reverie. She glanced at her watch. Time had slipped forwards. She put one foot in front of the other, slowly moving towards her car, not quite sure if her legs could carry her the distance. She buckled up and switch on the ignition, driving out onto the street and across town. She didn't stop until she pulled up outside Maura's Beacon Hill home.

"Jane," Maura said, opening the door.

"I," Jane began, her voice trailing off as she stared at Maura's sympathetic expression. Everything she planned to say, everything she thought she might say, disappeared into the silence. Jane chewed on her bottom lip. "I know I said I'd call, I hope you don't mind that it's in person."

"Not at all," Maura said, stepping to one side and motioning for Jane to enter.

"I'm sorry," Jane said, walking into the entrance. She stared around Maura's home, the furniture covered in dust sheets as though Maura had been decorating and hadn't spent the last few months overseas. "Everything's a mess."

"I really didn't mean for any of this to happen."

"I know."

"I care about you too much to hurt you." Maura walked to the fridge, pulled out a bottle of wine and poured two glasses. She placed one on top of the dust sheet covering the kitchen counter in front of Jane. "I don't have any beer."

"Wine's fine," Jane said, pouring the entire glass down her throat and pouring a second glass. "I could do with the whole bottle."

"Only if you promise me you'll let me call you a cab."

The ease with which they fell back into a conversation filled Jane with as much warmth as the alcohol coursing through her blood stream. They sat at the counter, talking about inane things, like nothing had changed. The night vanished into the past.

"It's getting late," Maura said, standing up and placing the empty glasses in the sink. "I said I'd oversee an autopsy first thing. I should get some sleep."

"Oh," Jane said, standing up. "'course."

They ambled towards the door. Maura opened it and Jane hovered in the doorway. Her head felt a little fuzzy, the buzz of the wine filled her with a sense of confidence. She stared at Maura.

"I've missed you."

"I've miss you too, Jane," Maura said, subtly pushing her out onto the path. "I'll see you tomorrow."

"Yeah, tomorrow," Jane said, leaning forwards. She slipped a hand around the material of Maura's blouse, tugging it gently as she leant forwards and placed her lips against Maura's.

"No," Maura said, pushing her back. "Are you trying to ruin your relationship?"

"I thought you wanted this," Jane said, frowning.

"Not like this. Not when you've had plenty to drink."

"But you love me."

"You're hurting." Maura sighed. "I assume that Nina didn't take my outing your relationship very well, rightly so. I made a mistake for which I am so very sorry. I've made multiple mistakes. If I could turn back the clock and correct them, I would do. But I can't. You moved on, you found someone who cares about you as much as I do. Don't ruin it, Jane. Don't go back to what's easy because you're too scared to fight for what you do want. I don't deserve that and neither do you. Don't make the mistakes you made with me again."

"Who says I don't want to be with you?"

"You did, Jane," Maura said. "I don't want to lose your friendship, and I hope in time you will forgive me for hurting you. But you love her, don't you? You're in love with Nina."

"I." Jane paused, analysing Maura's expression before she allowed herself to speak again. "I am."

"Then I wish you both happiness."

Jane nodded her head and walked up the path towards the waiting cab. She sat down on the back seat and watched Maura disappear as they drove off.


	9. Chapter 9

**Author Note** **: Thank you to everyone who has read, commented, followed and favourited this story. I knew it was going to be an interesting one to post, given that so many people are 100% for Jane/Maura, but I didn't quite expect the mixture of comments I have received. I was saddened (and one commenter put it into words better than I probably will here) that it also brought out some pretty nasty comments, not just about me and my writing, but also about Nina and about the colour of her skin. I am still working on getting those comments removed, because I don't think it's fair that anyone should have to read them. Whether you liked it or not, this is the story that I have created, and it is a story I am proud of, and will never apologise for. This is the final chapter, which I'm a little sad about, but I'll also be glad to take a step away from some of the harshness I've felt over the course of this story. Thank you for joining me on this journey.**

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Maura sat in her car in the Boston Police Department parking garage, reapplying her make-up as she waited for Nina to arrive. The white car pulled into a spot a few spaces down and the engine shut off. Maura opened her door, picked up her purse and shut the door behind her.

"Can I talk to you?" she asked, approaching Nina's car with caution. Memories of their last conversation still lingered and she didn't much want a repeat.

"I'm late," Nina said, barely acknowledging her presence. She set off for the elevator. Maura couldn't allow her opportunity to be wasted.

"Don't throw it away," she said, following her across the lot.

"With all due respect," Nina said, twisting around to face her. "Maura, this is none of your business."

"Actually, it is." The words did nothing to appease Nina as her brow creased. "Jane is my _friend_."

Nina placed her hands on her hips. "The friend you fell in love with, then abandoned."

The conversation was not going as well as she'd anticipated. She'd run through it on the drive over, hoping that she could find the right words to make things better.

"I've made mistakes," she said. "I hurt the person I love, and I have paid for that every day since. Don't ruin something good because of what I did."

"What _Jane_ did."

"No. It was me."

Nina shook her head and slipped her car keys into her purse, she took a couple of steps closer to the elevator. "Jane shouldn't have brought it to work."

"Maybe she shouldn't," Maura said, following her. "But that doesn't mean she should be punished for something that was my mistake. I take full responsibility."

"You can't just take responsibility, Maura. Jane needs to accept her part in it."

"She does."

"You've spoken to her?"

The tension in the air became unpalatable. Maura gritted her teeth and admonished herself for speaking before she thought about the implication of her words. If she made it worse, Jane would never forgive her.

"I told her what I'm about to tell you." She paused. "Don't throw away the chance to be with the person you love because you're scared."

"Who said anything about love?" Nina asked, her eyes wide, but Maura could see the same look she saw in Jane's eyes when she'd put the possibility into words.

Maura lowered her purse at her side and stared at Nina, dejection evident in her voice. "I threw away my chance with Jane. I put what we had down and expected it to be there when I got home. I missed my opportunity. Jane is right there, waiting, hoping that you will forgive her. I know that you don't want people to know, and I understand. I know it isn't easy to accept a part of yourself. But you're not alone. You have Jane, and I know that if you just give her a second chance then you two will be able to find happiness."

"Who said anything about love?" Nina repeated, her eyes glazed over.

"I know that Jane loves you," Maura whispered, her tone laced with tears. The more she said it, or thought it, the more it hurt to accept the reality.

"She told you that?" Nina asked.

Maura smiled. "She didn't have to. She's stubborn, and she drinks too much beer, but she is the greatest person I have ever known. If she's going to be with anyone else, I can't think of anyone as kind hearted and funny as you."

"I," Nina began, but Maura cut her off.

"If you love her as much as I hope you do," she said, forcing the confidence back into her words. "Then that's all that matters."

Jane chewed on the end of her pen. The BRIC door was open, but Nina was nowhere to be seen. All of the regret and sadness she'd felt over the last day overwhelmed her, distracting her from the one thing she had left in her life.

"Ow," she muttered, pulling the broken pen out of her mouth and spitting bits of plastic into her hand.

"Serves you right for chewing it," Korsak said from across the squad room, a smirk on his face.

Jane glanced up, her line of sight to her sergeant severely hindered. Her eyes travelled up the body of the woman standing in front of her, landing finally on Nina's dark brown eyes. She didn't look happy, nor did she look as angry as she had the last time she saw her.

"Can we talk…in private?"

"I," Jane began, glancing around her to Korsak who nodded his approval. She stood up. "Let's go."

They traipsed into the corridor and headed for the interview room. With her hand on the door handle, Jane pushed the door open, only to be pulled back by the voice of a uniformed officer.

"You're Rizzoli, right?"

"Yeah," Jane said, frowning.

"That must make you Holiday."

Nina's lips pressed tightly together as she nodded her affirmation.

"I knew it," he said, his eyes travelling across their bodies, landing finally upon their chests. "So, I have a buddy, his name is Steve, he'd totally be up for it. If you want."

"Up for what, exactly?" Jane asked.

"You know," he said, raising his eyebrows and licking his bottom lip. "You two, me and him…"

"Us and you, what?" Nina asked.

"You know," he said, sliding his finger between a circle he'd created with his other hand.

"Oh," Nina said, glancing at Jane. She held up her little finger and gave it a wiggle. "What do you think?"

Jane tilted her head from one side to the other, a smirk slipping across her face. She placed two fingers an inch apart. "Probably more like that, I think I'll give it a miss."

"Me too," Nina said, walking into the interview room.

The man stood, his face flushed, as Jane waved him goodbye and closed the door behind her. She turned, her heart racing with adrenaline. When her eyes met Nina's, her smile wide, she felt her whole world fall into place.

"I love you," she said, the words falling from her mouth before she could stop herself.

"I love you too," Nina said, stepping forwards, slipping her hands around Jane's cheeks as she captured her mouth with her own.

They pulled back, breathless. Jane's fingers still wrapped tightly around Nina's waist, her eyes fixed on her girlfriend's. "I'm sorry, you wanted to talk."

"That's all I wanted to say," Nina said, pulling Jane back in for another passionate embrace.

x

They walked into the Dirty Robber at the end of their shift. Jane placed a hand on the small of Nina's back as they approached the bar, her hands a little shaken with the anticipation of what she was about to do. Nina smiled at her and gave her hand a quick squeeze.

"It'll be fine."

"You haven't met my mother."

"Except every time we've been to the Dirty Robber since I arrived in Boston," Nina said.

"No," Jane said. "I mean, you haven't met her properly. When you're an acquaintance, she's nice."

"I'm sure she's lovely. Maura holds her in high esteem."

"So does the Devil."

"Really?" Nina asked, with a crease of her brow.

"No," Jane said. "I just never told her about Maura and I; I never found out how she would react to me coming out."

"If she's half the woman I expect her to be, then she will love you regardless. Come on."

They stepped forward, Jane dragging her heels as she slouched onto a bar stool.

"What can I get you, Janie?" she asked.

"A liter of vodka for me and a beer for Nina."

"Jane!" Nina said, kicking her as she sat down beside her.

Jane smiled her best smile. "Ma, this is Nina."

"Janie, I've met Nina before." Angela uncapped a beer and placed it in front of Jane.

"You've met Nina, our CSA/IT tech before," Jane said, supping on her beer for a bit of Dutch courage. "But I wanted to introduce Nina...my girlfriend."

"Your...oh!" Angela's brow furrowed.

"Please say something more than oh. Even if you need to shout at me."

"Why would I want to shout at you?" Angela asked, placing another beer in front of Nina. "It's lovely to see you again, Nina. I know Janie can be a handful."

"Ma!"

"But she's got a good heart." Angela leant against the counter. "Did she tell you about the time she took off her diaper as a toddler and ran around the yard in her birthday suit?"

"No, Ma," Jane shouted, reaching out to cover her mouth.

Angela raised a hand to stop her. "If you're going to bring your girlfriend round to meet your mother, she will hear my stories."

"This is why I don't bring people home," Jane said, rolling her eyes at Nina. "I'm sorry about her."

"Actually," Nina said, a smirk spread across her face. "I'd love to hear more about Jane when she was a child."

Jane groaned, turned around and drank her beer. A smile crept onto her face. Maybe her relationship with Nina was unexpected, and maybe her mother was embarrassing the hell out of her, but she couldn't think of anything better in that moment.

 **THE END!**

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 **Author Note** **: Whilst this is THE END of this story, I hope you will join wolvesr34 in her Unexpected…Ever After one-shot to follow up on this story with a bit about what happens to Maura next.**


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